


Fulsome Prose

by fqllve



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/F, Metafiction, Satire
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-31
Updated: 2013-03-31
Packaged: 2017-12-07 03:35:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/743735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fqllve/pseuds/fqllve
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kanaya develops a shameful addiction and does a rather poor job of keeping it secret from Rose.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fulsome Prose

It was another beautiful sunny day on the meteor. Or rather, Rose was doing her best to imagine it was. In actuality the sky was filled with an omnipresent blackness, a prospect Rose might once have relished. Perhaps it was all the time she had spent on this rock careening through empty space, perhaps it was that she had ascended to her role as the seer of light, but now she just found the atmosphere dreary and tiresome, and not at all conducive to enjoying a relaxing cup of tea. And so Rose was pretending she could see a sun that was in no way green and clouds that were in no way prophetic, and that she certainly wasn't seeing the errant dream bubble floating about or tentacled abominations lurking in the shadowed abyss. However, being perceptive, she was not doing a very good job of this.

So with the scent of flowers on the breeze and the rabbits and kittens frolicking about it was a perfectly lovely afternoon. Except one thing: Rose was alone.

How long had she been sitting on the meteor's surface? It was hard to gauge the passage of time. After all it wasn't as if the totally not imaginary sun actually moved or that time had any real meaning out here in the furthest ring. They had clocks but why bother checking? It had probably been an hour or so. Another tea she was forced to enjoy by herself.

She stood, smoothed out her dress, bid farewell to the bunnies, and headed back into the lab, descending seemingly endless winding stairs that were engulfed by the hollow melancholy of their vessel. Every so often as she made her way down she could hear the faint honks of that insane clown mocking her with foreboding ridiculousness, as if a fleet of caustic cream pies might emerge from nowhere at any moment. They never would. The clown seemed to be hardly more corporeal than his distant honks, and for all the sharpness of Rose's gaze it never spied him as more than a fleeting purple blur.

Rose at first thought to head to one of the libraries, but she knew Kanaya wouldn't be there. If either of them was to ignore the other for books it would be Rose, and Kanaya was far too diligent and fastidious to be distracted so easily. Rose still believed that, but Kanaya had become more and more distant lately, almost elusive as the origin of that furtive honking. So instead she decided to go to Kanaya's room, and when she got there she entered without knocking.

Kanaya jumped and immediately turned off the projector on her lunchtop. She was visibly startled and the smile she offered was little more than a grimace in truth. “Rose, you surprised me. You really ought to knock.”

Rose returned a smile with clearly deceptive innocence. “I'm sorry. I didn't intend to scare you. I was just a bit worried. You missed our tea again. You should have seen the wistful looks in the bunnies' eyes as they said, 'We miss Mama Kanaya.' I thought surely you wouldn't disappoint them so without good reason.”

“Rose dear, you know the bunnies aren't real, do you not? Or is this another of your human insincerity-based jokes.”

“I know they aren't, but maybe I was the one who was disappointed.”

“I—“she paused and her features sank, “I am sorry. I allowed myself to be distracted.” She slid her lunchtop against the wall, stood up from her bed, and started walking over to Rose.

“I hope your were at least distracted by something interesting. What were you doing anyway?” Rose turned to make for the lunchtop but Kanaya blocked her and grabbed her arms tenderly at the wrist, holding them out and gazing into her eyes.

“I was just reading things on the internet. It seems like out here we can access information from a number of different universes. Some of it was fascinating, but it wasn't worth ignoring you over and frankly, I'm a bit embarrassed by it.”

“Somehow that only makes me more curious.”

“Please Rose, don't do that to me. I am ashamed enough of my behavior without having to parade the worthless things I committed such folly over in front of you. Why don't we go have that tea, or perhaps read a book together?”

“Nope. Already had tea, too late for that. But I might be inclined to start over in the Prospitan chronicles I've been reading if you let me see what's kept you so enthralled these past weeks.”

“I really would rather not.”

“Oh don't be so shy, Kanaya. There's really no need to keep it a secret. I promise I won't judge you too harshly.

Kanaya blushed and turned her gaze away and Rose realized there was no way she was going to consent. She was too self-conscious about it. No one would easily share anything that was such a source of discomfort for them. Kanaya mutter something that couldn't be understood and for a moment Rose wondered if something that made her so uncomfortable was really worth pursuing. Only for a moment though. In truth Kanaya's reluctance only made her curiosity burn more brightly.

She placed her hand on Kanaya's cheek and turned her head so their eyes met once again, but Kanaya quickly looked away. She could feel the warmth of Kanaya's embarrassment even through her thick skin and now did her best to make her smile innocuous, full of reassurance rather than deception. “If it bothers you that much I won't press. As long as you promise to stop ignoring me over it we can forget this ever happened.”

“You're being sincere?”

Rose nodded. “I am.”

Kanaya sighed and the tension seeped from her body. She place her hand on Rose's forearm and lowered her head so their foreheads were resting against one another. “Thank you.”

Rose lifted herself up and kissed Kanaya on the forehead. “Come on. Let's get you out of here. Time for you to rejoin society, or at least the remnants of it.” She placed her hand on Kanaya's shoulder and led her out the door.

And as they stepped out Rose darted back in pressing the button to close the door behind her. It was her duty, after all, as the seer of light, to be aware of all the goings on on the meteor, so she didn't feel any remorse as she turned the lunchtop's projector back on.

“Rose no! Please!” Kanaya pleaded as she rushed back in, but it was already too late. Rose was already fuckdeep in the middle of a paragraph.

"Kanaya... what is this?" she asked. Her eyes were wide and the words seemed to tumble around the screen; though their meaning was evident she couldn't parse them, as if the very sense to them destroyed itself in some kind of ouroboros of confusion.

"I... that is a story in which you are a two-wheeled device and I ride you throughout the universe spreading peace and justice."

“Where did you find this? Did you write it?”

Kanaya sighed and motioned Rose away. She took over her lunchtop and went back a page. Listed were hundreds of pieces of fiction featuring her and Rose, each with a premise more ridiculous than the last. Some seemed to be aware of the pair's present circumstances while others cast Kanaya as human, in others still they were both cats. Rose was dumbfounded.

“Remember how I said that it seems as if we are able to access the internets of a number of different universes? Well I was browsing some of them, only casually, when I came across this. It seems there is some sort of repository of fiction depicting us, typically as matesprits.”

“Some of these seem rather explicit.”

“That is... not an inaccurate assessment.”

Rose pinched the bridge of her nose. “So let me get this straight. You've been reading poorly-written fiction about you and your girlfriend in favor of actually spending time with her?”

“Well, not just reading.”

Roses face scrunched in frustration. “Why? How could this possibly be more worthy of your time?”

“It's not more worthy. I couldn't enjoy it any more than the time I spend with you. It is just a different kind of thing.” She paused. “I admit that I became a little wrapped up in it, but it was just so shameful, it was not something I could share with you. It was imperative that it be kept secret. That may have even been part of the allure.”

Rose shook her head. “Well since we're already here you might as well show me some of the ones you've written. That was your implication, correct? That you not only read but write them?”

“I... I really couldn't.”

“Kanaya, nothing you've written could be worse than some of these. This one casts us as characters from _The Brave Little Toaster_. In another you kill me because you think my blood will taste like pretty flowers. Is human blood even nourishing to you?”

“I am not sure. Is this a matter of curiosity for you? Would you like to find out?”

“I would like to find out what kind of secret and scandalous fictions my girlfriend has been writing about me.”

Kanaya shrugged in acquiescence and got back onto her bed. “Well I doubt things could get any worse.” She typed a few things into the lunchtop and pulled up a page on which numerous stories were listed.

“How... how many of these have you written?”

“No more than thirty,” she said matter-of-factly.

It took Rose a moment to comprehend that number and even longer to come to terms with it. Finally she said, “Which one are you most proud of?”

Kanaya blushed but she scrolled to a story almost without any thought. “This one, I believe.”

“Alright,” Rose said and she scooted up next to Kanaya on the bed. “Let's read it.” If nothing else, it was better than being alone.

  


* * *

  


Rose pointed at the screen, “Your characterization here needs some work.”

“...humans are complicated.”

“See, I think complicated carries more nuance than something like 'taco-nunchunks' warrants.”


End file.
